The Truth About Dog Kisses

We’ve all heard the line “dog kisses are healing” at some point or another.  The truth is, as therapeutic as it is to have a dog by our side when we are sick or injured, a dog’s tongue is not a medical device.  Some people don’t like being licked, and some people love it; that’s personal preference.  A few years ago, a discovery was made at the University of Florida where they isolated a protein in the saliva of mice called nerve growth factor.  Following this discovery, they found that nerve growth factor (purified and isolated), when applied to wounds, resulted in faster healing times.  There were many conclusions drawn, but the most publicized was “dog kisses heal wounds”.

While I rarely get offended when my patients lick me during appointments, I will never advocate the use of dog saliva as a healing agent.  Firstly, if you were to base your argument on this study, you’d have to have pure isolated nerve growth factor from MOUSE saliva.  I’m not sure where you get that.  Secondly, there have been no studies that actually link dog, cat or human saliva (complete with all its non-nerve growth factor ingredients) to better wound healing.  Thirdly, dog saliva can be potentially pathogenic.   If you still need another great reason not to impregnate a wound with saliva: we live in a lovely world with readily available soap and water.

The dangers in dog saliva are abundant and variable.  They can range from parasites to bacteria to viruses .  If you cultured the saliva of a dog, you would be able to isolate many bacteria populations.  Some of these are pathogenic, some not.  In the case of a normal immune barrier (intact skin and a good immune system) these bacteria are unlikely to cause disease.  In the case of an open wound, or a person with a less competent immune system (the very young, the elderly, people on certain medical therapies), these bacteria can infect a wound.  Aside from the bacteria, it is possible for dogs to pass parasites, perhaps the most common being giardia (“beaver fever”) and roundworms.  Roundworms in particular can result in visceral migration throughout the body (this is one of the main reasons why we recommend internal parasite control programs aka dewormer).  It is highly unlikely for rabies to be present in a dog’s saliva if they are up to date on vaccination and haven’t been exposed to rabies, but licking open wounds is just as dangerous as a bite if a pet had rabies.  These problems are not common, but still possible. 

The best thing you can do to prevent any of these diseases from being transmitted is to wash your hands.  It is also a great idea to discuss your situation with your veterinarian to know what is best for your family.  In medical school, physicians study humans, but in veterinary school veterinarians study animals and public health, so they are the best to discuss this with.

So, as far as cleaning your wounds go, my advice would be the following: If you have a competent immune system, no access to fresh water or soap, and you can’t find a mouse, I suppose a dog kiss would be an OK last resort, but as soon as you get home, I’d wash with soap and water.

Dr. Heather James

P.S.  One of my favourite resources for finding out about common dangers to us from our pets is from Dr. Scott Weese and the University of Guelph.  You can access his website at www.wormsandgermsblog.com

DId you feed the dog spaghetti?

 

Little worms, big trouble.

(Roundworms, round here?)

 

Roundworms are one of the most common parasites in dogs and cats. Seldom seen, but often lurking inside your pets intestines, roundworms are round and light tan in colour. The reason these worms are rarely seen in that the adult worms live inside the intestines and for the most part only their microscopic eggs are passed in stools. We often hear people say that their pet does not need to be dewormed simply because their “stools look normal” and they “haven’t seen any worms in their dog’s stool”. Unfortunately looking at stools with the naked eye is simply not an accurate way to find intestinal worms. Most commonly roundworms are diagnosed from routine stool testing that can be done at your veterinary clinic. A special solution is used to float the eggs and collect them on a microscope slide and they can then be seen under microscope. Rarely, some “lucky” owners will get the pleasure of finding roundworms which have been vomited up onto their floors.

 

Now let’s give you an idea of how common roundworms are. A survey has found that a third (30%) of puppies less than 6 months of age carry roundworms, and that one quarter (25%) of cats are infected with roundworms. Dog and cat roundworm infections are not restricted to certain geographical regions, but are common throughout North America. Raccoons also carry their own type of roundworm which is a little more regional, the West coast being one of the most prevalent areas. Roundworms are therefore a parasite of significant concern to us here on the Sunshine Coast.

 

So how can my pet pick up a roundworm? Puppies and kittens can get roundworms directly from their mothers either in utero (puppies) or while nursing (pups and kittens). Mature dogs and cats in general will pick up roundworms by ingesting eggs from contaminated soil or eating prey species which are infected with roundworms. This may not seem like that much of a threat, especially if you think your pet doesn’t eat other animals stool or eat prey animals. However, roundworm eggs are hardy and can remain infective in the environment for years! Once the eggs have contaminated the soil they can’t be removed or destroyed without extreme measures such as complete removal of topsoil, controlled burns or steam treatment. This makes it easier than you think to pick up a roundworm from the local park, beach or even your own backyard.

In adult dogs and cats the symptoms of roundworm infection are often mild, such as diarrhea with mucous. In puppies and kittens they are more likely to cause slow weight gain, poor hair coat, pot bellies, and severe infections can even cause death.

 

Roundworms are not just a concern to your dog or cat. Roundworms are one of the parasites that can be picked up by humans too! Most commonly it is children who pick up roundworms from playing in contaminated dirt or sandboxes and then ingesting the infective eggs. Roundworm infections in children can be quite severe, causing issues as varied as liver problems, neurologic problems, and eye disease.

 

The best way to prevent infection and spread of roundworm infection is to deworm your pet regularly, have your pet’s stools checked for roundworms, and wash yours and your children’s hands regularly and especially before eating. The current recommendations are to deworm your puppy or kitten from 2 weeks of age at 2 week intervals until they are 6-8 weeks of age, at which time they can be started on a monthly deworming control product. Having a stool sample examined for parasites once or twice a year is recommended even with regular deworming. There are lots of deworming products available to treat roundworms so feel free to give us a call to discuss which product will best meet your pet’s needs.

TERNERSHBERLS!!!

                We’ve been having some gorgeous weather here on the Sunshine Coast, and that means that the trails are rife with roaming Rovers, and the parks are full of frolicking Fidos.  There are few things in this life that I find more contenting than taking my dog, Lemon, through the trails and to the park for some hiking and play-time.  One of Lemon’s favourite games is Fetch, and every time I throw the ball (with my trusty Chuck-It) she explodes into an all-out run that inevitably results in over-shooting the ball, tripping herself into somersaults, and then the triumphant joy on her face when she finally gets a hold of it.  Unfortunately, Lemon doesn’t always understand the last part of that game; sometimes she brings it back to me, but more often she lifts the ball up in the air as if to say “I got it!” only to drop it back on the ground and come running back to me without it.  As a result, and because we often play this game in the bush and by the ocean, we lose a lot of balls.  Lemon gets the Chuck-It Whistle Balls and the Ultraballs, which are not exactly a dime a dozen, so when we lose them, it’s a little frustrating.  Some people tell me to just stop playing in the bush or by the ocean, but seeing as that’s where Lemon has the most fun, I figure that a couple of lost balls is an acceptable consequence.  The other option I am most often presented with is: Just buy tennis balls.  They’re cheap, they float, dogs love them, so why spend extra money on a fancy rubber ball?

                Here’s why: tennis balls are bad for a dog’s teeth, are a possible risk for a foreign body, and are a possible risk for choke. 

                Now what on earth could a tennis ball do to a dog’s teeth?  It’s soft and squishy, so there’s no risk of tooth breakage, and it’s covered in fuzzy stuff, just like any other toy.  Right? Wrong! The fuzzy covering on a tennis ball is there for several reasons, but the main one that concerns us here is: Friction.  Tennis ball fuzz is very coarse and helps the racket “grip” the ball for better control; dimples on a golf ball provide the same effect.  That same fuzz that helps grip the racket can also act like sandpaper on your dog’s teeth.  This isn’t something that will happen overnight, but over the course of several months or years (depending on your dog’s chewing style) the teeth will wear down until the pulp becomes exposed.  The picture on the left shows a relatively mild case.  The pulp of the tooth is where the blood supply and nerves live, so if that becomes exposed, it can be painful, and it can provide oral bacteria with direct access to the blood stream which puts Fido at risk for local infections (like tooth abscesses) and systemic infections (like septicemia).

Tennis balls are also relatively fragile, and dogs have very strong jaws, so it’s pretty easy for a determined chewer to rip the ball to pieces.  If the dog can rip it to pieces, he may also decide to swallow it, and that piece of tennis ball is indigestible.  Instead of getting broken down in the digestive tract like food does, it will pass through intact, and may end up getting stuck in the intestinal tract somewhere.  This is a very serious condition that requires emergency (and life-saving) surgery.  The picture on the right shows half of a tennis ball that was swallowed whole, and is now stuck in the intestines.  Even if the dog is unable to actually rip a tennis ball apart, they can still compress it in their mouths and that may result in choke.  If the compressed ball pops open in the back of the throat it can become lodged there, and cut off the airway resulting in respiratory distress and death.

So does this mean you should run home right away and have a big bonfire in your backyard to get rid of any trace of these menacing tennis balls and their diabolical green fuzz?  Of course not.  You just need to be smart about it.  Make the tennis ball exclusively for the game of fetch; this means the dog runs, picks it up, brings it back, and drops it in front of you.  There should be no games of “keep away” and it should not be an unsupervised chew toy.  Make sure the tennis ball is an appropriate size for your dog.  It’s unlikely that Floofy the Pomeranian will be able to rip a tennis ball apart or aspirate it, but Butch the English Mastiff could easily do both those things, so make sure the tennis ball (or any toy for that matter) is size appropriate.    

A better alternative is to replace your tennis balls with Kong, Chuck-It, or otherwise dog-friendly, size appropriate toys.  Yes, you may be cringing a bit when your pooch loses something that is more expensive than a tennis ball, but it will be better for your dog's well-being in the long run.  As for me, I will continue to buy and lose the Ultraball for the ocean because it floats and is super bouncy, and the Whistle balls for the park because…well, because they whistle when you throw them, and when you have a dog with radar dishes for ears, it’s really amusing to see the ears follow the ball before the rest of the dog does.

Lemon seems to think that whenever she loses a ball, that it magically comes back to me… ~By: Lisa Horne, RAHT

 

Bully for You!

Are you feeding your dog bully sticks as a treat? Do you know what they are? More importantly, do you know how these treats fit into a healthy diet?

Bully sticks are a popular treat for dogs but few people know what they’re made of. They are actually the uncooked, dried penises (Penii? Penes?) from bulls and steers. You read that right! You’re feeding your dog a dried penis.

If that makes you squeamish, go wash your hands and then consider the fact that dogs are notorious for eating nasty things and rolling in dead animals, not to mention licking their own “privates” as a hobby.  So the fact that a dog readily eats a bull’s dried penis is not that incredulous. What is amazing is the amount of calories packed into those 6 inches of deliciousness (yuck!).

Researchers from the University of Guelph and the Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tuffs University recently published a study in the Canadian Veterinary Journal that states bully sticks are not a skinny treat, despite all appearances. In testing over 26 different sticks purchased in the US and Canada, the average product contained 8 to 22 calories per inch of treat, amounting up to 88 calories per 6-inch stick.

Although this was a very small (ahem) study of just 26 treats,  veterinarians and pet food stores cannot guarantee that bully sticks are a healthy treat for your pet.  Regardless of the joy experienced in these 6-inch treats, they really pack a dense punch:  9 percent of a 50-pound dog’s daily caloric requirement and a whopping 30% of a 10 pound dog’s daily calorie needs in just one stick. The pleasure may not be worth the pain, especially considering the wide-spread incidence of obesity.

The study also looked at bacterial contaminants present in these types of treats. They found that of the 26 sticks tested, one stick contained Clostridium difficile and another, the dreaded methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (known as MRSA).  If these contaminants sound bizarre, perhaps you’re more familiar with e-coli. Several dried penis treats contained e-coli, with more than one being resistant to tetracycline; an antibiotic commonly used in both human and veterinary medicine.

A safer bet would be to “abstain” from the bully sticks and offer your dog a veterinarian-approved low calorie cookie that has been produced in strict accordance with health and safety guidelines. Ask your veterinarian about safe treats that are still fun to eat.

 

By: Jennifer Cates, AHT

                                                                                                                                                                                          

It's become a dirty word....

~ By: Lisa Horne

Today I’m going to talk about something that has become a very sensitive subject.  It’s become one of the dirtiest four letter words that you can say, even worse for you to eat, and it starts with a “C”.  Here it comes:

Corn.

So many people these days are up in arms about corn being in their pet’s food.  “It’s just filler!” they say.  “It’s a very common cause of allergies!” they say.  “Corn is not appropriate for carnivores!” they say. 

Well, luckily, I’m here to speak out in defense of the much maligned maize and it’s commendable kernels.

Common Misconceptions about Corn:

1)    Corn is not digestible.

Everyone knows about “corn poops” so most people assume carnivores and omnivores cannot break down the grain during the digestive process, and therefore, cannot benefit from its nutrients; however, in dog and cat food, the kernel is already broken down by grinding during the manufacturing process.  This means that the parts of the kernel (the germ, starch, gluten, etc.) are accessible and readily digestible.  In fact, when broken down, the corn is over 90% digestible!

2)    The incidence of food allergy to corn is high.

This is false.  Studies on food allergies (and not just the ones performed by the veterinary pet food companies) show that corn is equivalent to, or less allergenic, than other proteins such as beef; chicken allergies are actually more common than corn allergies.  Food allergies are responsible for less than 1% of all dermatological conditions in pets, so don’t be so quick to blame the grains and corn; environmental allergies are a much more common cause.

3)    Corn is just a cheap filler.

False again! Fillers have absolutely no nutritional value, but corn has many!  The germ of the corn is a source of essential fatty acids, like Omega 6, which promotes a healthy coat and skin.  It’s a good source for Vitamin A and B which are involved in healthy vision, skin regeneration, and the enhancement of immune and nervous system function.  Amino acids, which are the building blocks for protein, are also found in corn; these are used to support muscle mass, growth, and immune system function.  Methionine, an amino acid found in corn, is also a natural urinary acidifier which can reduce the likelihood of struvite crystal and stone formation.  Antioxidants are big in the nutritional news these days because of their ability to reduce damage caused by free radicals and to support ocular health; these are also found in corn!  Corn is also an excellent source of fibre which, among other things, promotes gastrointestinal health and motility.  Last but not least, corn is rich in essential minerals like phosphorus, magnesium, manganese, zinc, copper, iron, and selenium, which are required for maintaining skin integrity, bone and cartilage quality, and cellular function.  Clearly, corn has a lot more to offer a diet than any filler.

4)    Carnivores don’t do well on a high grain diet.

Believe it or not, this is also false.  The definition of a carnivore is not “eats only meat”; it’s an animal that requires certain nutrients in their diet that are more commonly found in animal sources.  This means that if the nutrients can be found in less common sources (ie, corn and grains), then the animal can be maintained very nicely.  Many all meat diets are unbalanced and can lead to vitamin and mineral excesses and deficiencies, which can result in both organ dysfunction and orthopedic problems, and an all grain diet can result in the same thing.  I can still hear the outcry: "But dogs are descended from wolves and that means they're meant to eat only meat!".  If we go by that logic, then that  means that humans should eat only meat as well, because we are descended from Neanderthals who subsisted on a mostly meat diet.  If we go by this logic, then vegetarians and vegans shouldn't be able to exist, yet many of them not only continue to exist, but they thrive!  The key here is balance and moderation.  Almost any food can be detrimental if eaten to excess or if cut out of a diet completely.

Clearly, corn is not the devil hiding in the diets that people make it out to be.  Instead, it is a highly nutritious, valuable ingredient that is a great building block for your pet’s nutritional health.

Please, can’t we give corn a chance? 

Fleas!

          I have been a pet owner all my life.  I was born into the care of a Border collie mix named Blue, a crazy Siamese cat and a Cockateil named Eli that sang Yankee Doodle dandy to your big toe if you took your socks off.  They were my siblings and they were followed by many more four legged family members in the years to come.  I wouldn’t have had it any other way and the bond we shared is very likely the reason that I am in the field I am today.

          When I was a kid, fleas were a fact of life.  If you had pets, you had fleas.  Some of my less fortunate friends did not grow up with pets, hence the horror their parents experienced when they occasionally came home from a sleepover with a sleeping bag crawling with little black hitchhikers.

          My parents certainly tried to get rid of them, my mom kept a pretty tidy house back then.  She vacuumed, sprayed, flea bathed and steam cleaned, but no matter how much we battled them, those little bastards only retreated further into the thick, green, shag carpet.  A month or so later they’d rear their ugly little heads and we’d start all over again…

          The only thing that ever made a dent in our population of freeloading houseguests was when professional exterminators were called in.  I remember that day.  The dogs and cats were sent to a kennel for two whole days and my sister and I were sent off to Grandmas.  We even had to move the fish bowl lest the nasty chemicals give us all cancer.  We didn’t see another flea in that house for years!  But was it worth it? 

Years later, while glancing through one of my mom’s Good Housekeeping magazines, I spotted an advertisement for a promising new flea treatment made by the trustworthy people at Bayer- the makers of Aspirin.  It just so happened that we were having a flea problem in our new house so off to the vet we went!  WOW!  Two applications and NO MORE FLEAS!  Amazing!

          Now, as a veterinary professional, I love being able to hand out such an effective treatment to pet owners.  It never fails: someone walks through the door, scratching just a little too much with just a hint of shame on their face, approaches the counter, and confesses… “We’ve got fleas…”  Then they glance over their shoulder just a little to see if there is anyone in the lobby listening and judging.  “No big deal!” I always say,  “We’ve all been there.”  Then I start in on the “flea talk”.  It’s a lot of information to hand out all at once, and there are so many choices for treatment now that it can get a little confusing.  Thus this blog entry J

          To understand flea control, you first need to understand a little about their lifecycle.  Adult fleas live, feed, and reproduce primarily on the pet.  They feed on the blood of the host animal, (which could be a human), then they lay eggs which roll off the pet into the environment (bedding, carpets, floor crevices and dirt).  In the environment, the eggs hatch and grow into larvae, the larvae then morph into pupae which hatch into adult fleas.  The average life cycle of the flea is approximately 6 weeks depending on environmental conditions.  If conditions are favourable (fleas prefer warm, moist conditions, ie: Vancouver Weather) the life cycle can be as short as 2 weeks.  A little known fact about fleas?  While in the pupae stage they can actually remain in their cocoon for over 12 MONTHS!!  When conditions are cold or dry fleas can decide not to hatch and remain in a kind of “suspended animation” for over a year!  This allows them to survive all kinds of unseasonable weather and re-emerge when you are least suspecting it. 

(Go to http://www.pet-informed-veterinary-advice-online.com/flea-lifecycle.html for a diagram of the flea's life cycle)

How do you know if your pet has fleas? 

1.       You can actually see them crawling on your pet or hopping through your carpet like Heidi through the alpine meadow.  (This visual is especially accurate if you have the aforementioned green shag carpet) 

2.       Your pet is scratching and chewing frantically, sometimes to the point that they are losing hair and causing skin sores. 

3.       YOU are itchy and finding “mosquito bites” in the middle of February. 

4.       Flea dirt.   Fleas eat and therefore they poop.  Flea poop looks like little black specks of dirt.  If you brush some off your pet onto a white paper towel and drip water on it, it will turn red because flea poop is digested blood!

5.       Your vet saw any of items 1-4 and told you.  Just take our word for it okay? (Oh and there’s no need to expose yourself to show us your bites, we’ll take you at your word.)

          So, what do you do if you have fleas?  First off, don’t be embarrassed.  It happens to every pet owner, and it doesn’t mean that your house is dirty.  Don’t blame it on the neighbors, or your kids’ friends, or God.  Get to your vet clinic and ask for help.  We have some amazing, safe and effective products.

Capstar (nitenpyram)- This is an oral tablet. It acts very quickly, taking only about 15 minutes to kill all the adult fleas on your pet.  The problem with this drug is that it only lasts about 48 hours.  Capstar is meant to be used in conjunction with another product for long term flea control.

Program  (lufenuron) – This is an oral tablet for dogs and an oral liquid for cats.  This is flea birth control.  It inhibits flea reproduction and lasts for one month.  Given monthly it is a safe and effective way to prevent a flea infestation in your home.  This product is probably not the best one to use if there is an active flea infestation.  It does however work very well with Capstar.  For Cats this product is also available in an injection that lasts 6 months.

*Sentinel  (Lufenuron/Milbemycin) Oral tablet.  This is an oral tablet like Program, but with an added ingredient that deworms your pet monthly as well..  In areas affected by heartworm, this product is a lifesaver!  Once again, if there are a lot of adult fleas, this product should be used in conjunction with Capstar for more immediate relief.  This product is not available for cats.

Advantage (imidicloprid) This product is applied topically to the skin over the shoulders.  It spreads out in the oily layer of skin and lasts for a month.  When fleas come into contact with a treated pets skin their nervous system is affected and they are unable to bite and feed and they quickly die.  This is an excellent choice for pets that have an allergy to flea bites.  This product will leave a crusty residue for a couple of days and does have a bit of an odour for a few hours after it is applied.  Dogs that get bathed frequently with shampoo may need to have this product applied more often than once a month.

*Advantage Multi (imidicloprid/moxidectin) This is a topical product,  the same as Advantage, except that it contains a de-wormer and heartworm prevention.  This product will leave a crusty residue for a couple of days and does have a bit of an odour for a few hours after it is applied.  Dogs that get bathed frequently with shampoo may need to have this product applied more often than once a month.

Advantix (imidicloprid/pyrethrin)  This product is Advantage with an added ingredient that repels ticks.  It is applied topically to the skin over the shoulders.  This is an excellent choice for people that live/hike in areas with a lot of ticks.  This product is for DOGS ONLY and should be used with caution in households where the cats and dogs share close quarters.  This product will leave a crusty residue for a couple of days and does have a bit of an odour for a few hours after it is applied.  Dogs that get bathed frequently with shampoo may need to have this product applied more often than once a month.

*Revolution (selemectin) This product is applied topically to the skin over the shoulders and is absorbed into the bloodstream.  Fleas ingest it when they feed.  It lasts for a month and kills adult fleas quickly.  This product dries quickly and has less odour than Advantage.  Because it is absorbed into the bloodstream, this products efficacy is not affected by bathing.

*Comfortis (Spinosad) This product is an oral tablet that kills adult fleas very quickly (within 15 minutes) and lasts for one month.  The drug remains in the bloodstream and thus the product is waterproof and not affected by bathing.

*Trifexis (Spinosad/mylbemycin) This product is the same as Comfortis but has an added de-wormer and heartworm prevention.  The drug remains in the bloodstream and thus the product is waterproof and not affected by bathing.

          Most of the above products are available from Sechelt Animal Hospital.  The products with * next to them are prescription products and require an up-to-date (within the past year) Wellness Exam with a veterinarian before they can be purchased.  If you are unsure which product is best suited for your situation, please contact one of our Client Service Team members.  They are well versed in parasite control and would be happy to assist!

          Finally, don’t forget to do a thorough clean-up of your pets environment once you have treated your pet.  Wash all bedding (including yours- you know they sleep on your pillows when you’re not home right?) in hot soapy water.  Vacuum carpets and crevices well and make sure to throw the bag away or empty the canister into an outside garbage bin.  In extreme cases you may need to use a premise spray to treat your home but in my experience, if you use one or two of the above products there is no need to spray.

~By: Meghan Graves

  

Pet Loss and Grief

                One of the hardest parts of my job is having quality of life discussions with owners, and euthanasias.  It’s difficult for all of the obvious reasons, like the sadness and the grief experienced by both myself and the owners, but it’s also difficult for me, personally, because I handle my emotions differently than most (or so I’ve been told).  I have a hard time relating to people on an emotional level, and I’m extremely uncomfortable with people being in my personal space.   So, when I’m confronted with a mourning client who is looking to me to make them feel better, I feel at a loss, and very out of my element.  I marvel at how my co-workers seem to instinctively know exactly what to say and what to do in these scenarios, and have often wondered why I seem to be unable to do so.  I’ve been told that it will come with time, seeing as I’m only 2 years into my career as a technician, but it’s still frustrating to know that when I see someone on one of the hardest days of their lives, the only things I can think of are clichéd condolences that always seem insincere simply because we’ve heard them all too often.

                When I am sad or grieving, I prefer to be by myself; if there are other people around me, for example, if I’m at work and a euthanasia hits me particularly hard (and it happens to everyone that works in the veterinary world), I’d rather they’d just be quiet, pretend I’m not bawling, and leave me alone.   It is due to this personal preference, that I have a really hard time being comforting to others; when your instinct is to leave a grieving person alone and in silence, that often comes off as being cold and un-caring.  Believe me, I DO care and I DO empathize, I’m just not very good at expressing it, and I usually feel awkward when I do try (I probably come across this way to the clients as well); when I say things like “I’m so sorry for your loss”, it feels so scripted and disingenuous to me that I generally elect to say nothing at all.  The worst is when someone wants a hug; I’m not a hugger, but I really want to support people during their time of need, so I have this internal battle between my own personal comfort level, and the desire to help.  What results is usually an incredibly awkward and lame half hug, which (I think) is less helpful than nothing at all.

So, in an effort to better myself and to improve my job skills, I went off to North Vancouver for a 3 day Pet Loss and Grief Companioning Certification course.   The speaker was Coleen  Ellis, and she is the founder of the Pet Angel Memorial Center, which is a pets only funeral home that was the first of its kind in the United States.  When I walked into the room, she immediately greeted me with a firm two-handed handshake, the most intense eye contact I’ve ever had in my entire life, and a fervent “thank you, I appreciate you for being here”.  I felt a little uncomfortable; it’s very disconcerting for someone like me to have a complete stranger get in your space, grab your hand like they’re never going to let go, and stare directly into your eyes.  I think my only response was to look elsewhere (thereby avoiding eye contact), back up a little, and murmur a very quiet “Hi…Thanks…” into my shoulder. 

“Well,” I said to myself, “this is part of why you’re here: to learn how to be more comfortable in situations that involve invasion of personal space.”  So I sat down, and started to listen. 

There were a lot of things that I took away from that course (including hug-avoidance techniques), and I will write about them in separate articles, because there’s just too much to fit into one.  Perhaps the most important thing, was that my job is not to make the client feel better as soon as possible.  We live in a “quick fix” and death-avoidant society that says we should get through the stages of grief in an orderly manner, and as soon as possible; in reality, every person experiences grief differently and the stages of grief are not so clear-cut.  People and pets need time and the ability to mourn however they need to in order to heal.  My job is not to make everything better, but to let them experience their loss in whatever manner is best for them, without judgment and without hurrying them along to happiness and a new pet.   Our instincts are to try to take the suffering away by saying things like “at least you got 15 years with Fido”, “you did all you could for Fluffers”, and “I’m sorry to hear about FruFru, but you know they have lots of puppies at the SPCA that you can get.”  Fido’s family may have gotten 15 good years but they probably wanted 15 more, and I need to respect that sometimes 15 years is not enough, even if that is a good old age for any pet.  Fluffer’s owner did everything under the sun for her cat, but that doesn’t stop her from feeling like there was something else she could have done, and if I say “don’t feel like that because you did everything you could”, I’m actually arguing with her and telling her that what she’s feeling is wrong, and that’s something that Fluffer’s owner doesn’t need to hear.  There may be pets in need of a home at the SPCA (and I am a big advocate for adoptions), but FruFru’s owner needs time to mourn, and it would be disrespectful to suggest that she can just replace her old companion with a new one.  At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what I think or believe; what matters is what the owner thinks and believes, and it isn’t my place to tell them they should or shouldn’t feel a certain way. 

Another thing that was brought up a lot is that many “pet parents” feel shame for mourning their pet.  If they want to have a funeral or memorial, or if they take longer than a week to get over their loss, many people think they are crazy and over-emotional, because “it was just a dog/cat/fish/gerbil/whatever”.  This is something that I (fortunately) have never experienced, because the people I surround myself with tend to love animals as much as I do and, therefore, understand that the strong bond between people and their pets is not easily broken and discarded.  I was appalled to think that someone might think me “crazy” because I still acknowledge the anniversary of my dog’s death, even though she died a little over 7 years ago.  After all, no one would think twice about acknowledging the anniversary of a human’s death, so why not a pet’s?  So many times I’ve heard owners say that they feel ashamed because they mourned their pet more than a family member that passed away.  This doesn’t make them bad people and it doesn’t mean that they loved that family member any less; it does prove that the bond between people and their pets is unique, and that the relationships are different.  A pet is often closer than your own shadow and when they are gone, when that little (or not so little) soul that followed you everywhere suddenly isn’t there anymore, that sense of loneliness and that feeling that something important is missing, can be overwhelming.  I say again: it doesn’t mean you valued one life over the other, it just means that the relationships and the bonds formed are different, and therefore, they feel different when they are gone.  It should never be a source of shame.

The last thing I’ll mention here was one that really struck me, simply because I had never thought about it this way.  Many people who have lost their pet have expressed frustration that they just want to feel normal again, like they did before the loss.  I never knew how to respond to that, other than with the whole “time heals all wounds” speech, especially because I also sought out that sense of normalcy after the passing of my dog.   Instead, we talked about the “Old Normal” and the “New Normal”.  The “Old Normal” is the way you were before you got your pet.  “Normal” is how you were while you had your pet, and the “New Normal” is what you become after your pet passes away.  Each of these “normals” are accompanied by change, and as we all know, sometimes change is scary, but just as the arrival of your pet changes you, so does it’s departure, and the only way to start to feel better is to acknowledge that you will never be the same you were.  In order to move forward, you need to realize that you will never get back to the “old normal”, acknowledge the impact that your pet had on your life, and realize that the “new normal”, while it might be scary, is actually a positive thing.

This is just a small amount of what we discussed at the course, and I walked out of there feeling more confident about how to handle these types of situations.  I’m never going to be entirely comfortable with physical contact, and my first instinct will always be to remain quiet, but at least now I feel like I have some other options, some other “tricks of the trade”  if you will, and I know that sometimes the best thing I can say is nothing.  I know that no one will ever get over the loss of their pet, but they will get through it.  I know that my job is not to make you feel fine by the time you walk out of the clinic, but to assist in the expression of grief in whatever way I can.  I know that my job is to provide a safe and, above all, non-judgemental environment for the grieving client.  There is always a good-bye hovering in the shadows of our pets, and I hope that if I’m in the room with you when you have to go through it, that you leave the clinic feeling like I am a supportive resource and an asset to you in your grief journey, and not that quiet weirdo who gave you an awkward pat on the hand. 

~By: Lisa Horne